January 17, 2023| Episode 51

Caregiving Series - Providing Support & Asking for Help

This episode discusses where to start when providing or coordinating care for a loved one.

Providing care could be for a parent, spouse, child, or relative with special needs.

Most people like to help others, and many make promises to their loved ones that they will be there to take care of them.

This could mean coordinating or personally administering services. Either situation is an intense, time-consuming, and stressful job.

The bottom line and main takeaway.... if you are providing care, it is okay to ask for help! You are human and can only do so much.
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Issues to be aware of whether you are someone providing care or someone expecting someone else to provide you care as you age:

  • Things rarely work out exactly how they were originally envisioned. You need to be flexible, willing to work with others, and watch out for guilt “traps”.
  • You are only one person and can only give so much of yourself. It is okay not to be perfect
  • You must consider your loved one’s needs, your own needs, and the needs of others who depend on you
  • Many people providing care for a loved one will experience a negative financial impact, such as missing work, leaving their employment altogether, or feeling obligated to spend their own resources to help
  • People who need care are very likely to need help physically. They might need someone to lean on to steady themselves when they walk, lift, or catch them as they fall. They might also need someone to go up and down stairs, carry things, or move items around in their home. Caregivers tend to put their loved ones first, so compounding the physical challenge for most caregivers is their tendency to get less sleep or rest, eat poorly (whatever is easy or fast), miss out on exercise routines, and all the physical ailments that can be caused by high stress.
  • Providing or coordinating care for a loved one can create intense stress. Stress can inflict a great amount of damage on a person’s individual health. It can also cause hyper-sensitivity with emotions that can easily lead to low patience or frustration, causing people to do or say things they might regret that they wouldn’t normally do or say under less stressful situations.
  • Those who need care can’t always wait for you to be available and don’t always communicate the best. They will need undivided attention for a myriad of issues at inconvenient times. You need to be prepared to put your life on hold for an indefinite period.
  • You have to realize that there are boundaries to anyone’s capabilities, and it is perfectly acceptable to ask for help for the benefit of your loved ones and yourself.